Successful on the Outside

Successful on the Outside

You may look successful on the outside, BUT is it an allusion?

Are you nailing it by day at the office, but at home it’s a different story? Is your private life crumbling and is it about to invade your corporate life or maybe your reputation. Are you struggling alone?

To the outside world looking in, so many people appear to be highly successful yet behind closed doors sadly their world is falling apart.  You might be lying awake at night wondering ‘how long can I keep the balls juggling in the air. How long can I keep the façade up before my corporate life comes crashing down’.

Or are you a class act balancer?  Keeping appearances propped up at almost any cost.


What do they look like anyway.  Everyone’s definition is different.  For some blinded by the shiny reels of social media and the expectations weighing down heavily upon them, one might think success looks like earning a lot of money, beautiful people, a wonderful house, the perfect children, holidays all over the world, nice clothes and a fancy car. OR DOES IT?

Sure there is absolutely nothing wrong with pursuing the pleasures of life that come along with working hard for what you earn, as long as it doesn’t come at the cost of the things that you hold the dearest in your heart. In the never ending search for fulfilment, in a society that says we should have everything NOW, things are not always as they seem.  When I talk to business owners about their staffs mental health, many reply, ‘I’m not coping myself.  I don’t how long I can keep going like this. My staff are relying on me.  I’m the one who is meant to keep it all together. ‘ Sounds like a lot of pressure, doesn’t it?


I Have met so many people in my many years in the twelve step rooms where outside the rooms people mistakingly believe they have it all together. They are deemed successful because they are being judged on outward appearances Yet, inside they are crushed. If you talked to them yourself, they would say their life was a total failure and that money does NOT bring happiness. In every case, alcohol, drugs, gambling, work, food, sex, shopping and other addictions  stripped them away from their loved ones. Many had it all and lost it all only to say that in the end, they came to realise that it’s the RELATIONSHIPS in their life that meant the most.



If you are struggling with any kind of addiction or just with the pressures of life itself, GET HELP before it’s too late.  Don’t let pride kill you and don’t let shame be the reason you didn’t find the right support.  There is always HOPE. The relief of spilling all to someone you trust just could be lifesaving.  As the saying goes, a problem shared, is a problem halved.  And it really is.  In my many years working as a recovery counsellor I have seen so many people hit rock bottom because of the secrets they had been holding onto. To see the relief they experience after they become honest about their situation and talk it out, is like the weight of the world has been lifted off their shoulders.

And lastly, realise this ‘you are not the only one’. Imagine being in a room and realising that at least half the people in that room were also struggling only you were ALL DOING IT ALONE.  How amazing would it be to be able to support one another in your greatest time of need.


I’m sure many of you have heard this poem written by John Whittier.  I hope you are encouraged greatly as you read it.

“When things go wrong as they sometimes will, and the road you’re trudging seems all up hill, the funds are low and the debts are high, and you want to smile but you have to sigh. When care is pressing you down a bit, rest if you must but don’t you quit.

Life is strange with its’s twists and turns as every one of us sometimes learns. Many a failure comes about when you might have won had you stuck it out. Success is failure turned inside out, the silver tint of the clouds of doubt. And you never can tell just how close you are, It may be near when it seems so far. So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit, It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit”.